tonight // 3lack3ird
Tonight I’ve moved passed you.
Tonight, however, I feel the weakest,
Tonight the growing pains of loneliness haunt me.
Tonight my anxieties caress my body.
Tonight I hear the blackbird cawing.
Fool me once, shame on me
Fool me twice, shame on me
Fool me three times, and I realize what you really are.
You are the blackbird.
You caw at my window, uttering my insecurities.
Away at my patience.
I cannot grasp why you still sit and grovel at my windowsill
Go away little blackbird, I am a fool no more.
Because everyone knows that behind your coal feathers,
You’re just as human as I am.
I wrote both of these poems when I was going through a period of extreme depression in middle school. During this time, I thought that no one in the whole entire universe knew what I was going through. I truly believed that no one could empathize with the emotions I was feeling at such a young age. To cope with my depression, I wrote poetry. On nights where I was feeling so unbearably sad and I felt as if my stomach was in knots, I would write poetry.
A motif in my poetry would be the symbol of the blackbird. When I hit a real low point, the blackbird would symbolize much more than just my depression. It would end up symbolizing my anxieties, insecurities, and at some points even suicidal thoughts. Throughout my depression, in my angsty perspective, I thought that the only thing that could show me any signs of empathy were my pen and paper.