monsoons

 
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it’s those kinda summer days where you can’t feel the heat
you can’t feel the weather at all
t-shirt and shorts and it’s like the air is moving nothing toward you
sometimes the sun will hit you like a bag of bricks but it doesn’t hurt, no
it’s like something that the world always knew about,
those unspoken summer days are meant to cause bliss
we woke up to sunflowers
we went to sleep to monsoons.

i keep thinking about the sunflowers that bloom in the summer.
tall and leaning, giants of the prairie
big brown eyes looking into the world,
always curious about where the sun is leading them to next
they dance in the wind, little ballerinas discovering new ways to move
you could call them anything but small
sunflowers don’t sing but if you listen very closely you can hear their melody
the breeze through their petals creating ballads of contemplation
i don’t think that sunflowers are supposed to die in june.

you know when there’s a full moon sunflowers think it’s the sun
they follow it as they would the biggest star in our galaxy, without knowing it’s a false friend
sometimes i think that’s what happened
you couldn’t bear the thought of being lied to like that and on the waning gibbous refused to bloom
or maybe it’s simpler
maybe you never wanted to leave june,
the month that you should be at your fullest but couldn’t bloom as well that year,
something in the weather patterns and lunar cycles kept you in your soil since february
and not enough sun in the world could pull you out

it’s those kinda summer days where the humidity eats you up
you can’t breathe in this summer heat
the air is thick and sturdy and hard
something that the world pretends to not know about
those unspoken summer days make it hard to like this state
and you are in california
we woke up to sunflowers
we went to sleep to monsoons.

Chloe Ramos